Counselling for couples

The Process for Couples Counselling

The first contact is very often from one of the couple seeking one on one counselling. It becomes obvious within a couple of sessions that there is a major break down in the personal relationship in his/her life which is causing the total despair. At that stage the counsellor and client talk about whether putting both partners together would be beneficial. If I am asked to meet the partner then I always suggest I do two sessions with the new client alone and of course that there is a willingness on both sides to investigate the process. Then, when they feel the time is right they share appointments. The way the appointments work is for the couple to sit facing each other and addressing each other rather than me. This is generally a very emotional experience and a learning curve for them both. There has to be total honesty within the counselling room and they both need to be confident that the content of the sessions never leave the room. Therefore totally confidential and a feeling of safety.

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Three steps forward and one back in couples counselling !

I always cover past experiences of childhood and how dysfunctional it might or not have been. I only investigate that part of the clients life individually with them. It can be vital information in unravelling the ‘here and now’. We are all still the Children we were ‘in the playground’. Progress can be a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs just as in normal life! Three steps forward and one back in couples counselling. The aim is to try and get in touch with each other’s feelings and try to see why and how they have changed feelings about each other over a period of time and to see how those feelings can be retrieved. There can often be issues around anger management that need to be looked at.